Loyalty is just a tattoo

Having to check up that non everyone delegacy what they say Is a hard Idea to sink in when youre someone who means everything they say. This past summer I found out my boyfri eradicate had been arting on me. To me this was the hardest news to sw tout ensemble(prenominal)ow, to think the person you trusted with everything, who was your gritrock and your shelter In midst of the storm was non only thinking about you and saying, l complete you to only you scarcely to someone else as well.Instantly my ball cancelled upside d take in, I ad to smell the humanity of the news I had found out. He apologized of course and in the hold back decided that I was the best choice for him, he wanted to achieve things work and go forward in our relationship, alone how do you begin to trust again? Where do you start? Is he sincere this quantify? So many questions running through my head so often clips hurt and pain notwithstanding. From then on I cast observe my heart deal the jew el it is and protected it from anyones harm. This shoes elicited the well-nigh swap on me because neer leave I ever love the same.I take my tone daylight by day at one time, planning a proximo with someone Is so cliche withal me. Had to build that forever really is not forever and that relationships are day by day, anything could happen tomorrow. People change every day, they meet new faces all the time I feel as if someone abide bys a person who fits your spot in there life and who fulfills the role better will incur your electric switch and you will be practise nothing alone a memory, to some heap what means everything to them today can, become nothing to them tomorrow and thats just how some hoi polloi are.Reminiscing on the days when I concept throng waited till they were 21 to drink. Couples waited until they were married to have sex, people didnt do drugs. I thought you would always end up marrying your soul mate, I thought your friends were your friends a nd they would never leave your side, that everyone you said I love you too would say it back, and that your love story will end up like the movies. Its retributive crazy how you elevate up with all this love and hope in your heart and then youre thrown into what you think Is a twisted. KC and cold world but Its rattling Just life and you Just have to pop off It. In my head I tell myself Im still the same person I was a course of study ago but in all veracity Im not. This situation caused me to become much sensitive and more protective of myself more than anything. Never did I realize that a person could cause so much Inner pain and there was no cure, no David or Misspoken can fix this boo boo, but too face the reality of it all, and over time hoping to get better. My approach is sterner in dealing with certain(a) situations, I feel as if people take me serious that they will knowIm not the type to down around with and will not play games. I quickly closed my heart and right now thinking about forever with someone Is Just put on the backbencher for now. Trusting someone has never been so hard until now. You never know whats spill through the other persons mind and there honest intentions with 1 OFF be more to myself and not trust anybody but God. I Just play the role, and Just make it seem as if Im authorise but deep down inside Im smart everyday and I always ask myself what did I do wrong to make him want to cheat? Does he really love me?Does he merit this second chance? Its eating at me all the time and I Just want the true statement but no one seems to know the answer. That to me is what is bear on me the most. That causes me to zone out, get distracted, cry at night, miss and push away anybody who tries to get to know me. Im not sure how long will I be hurt or when I will find closure to my situation but it this has had the biggest impact on me this summer. The scariest thing about loyalty is that everyone has their own explanation of it. When I thought of my boyfriend I thought he was the most loyal of them all.I thought he would be different from the rest and that he could wax to me that all guys were not the same. When he said he loved me I believed it, when he said he had my back I believed it, when he said he was loyal to me and only me I believed it but when all these emotions that I thought were so pure turned out to have flaws. I had begun to think maybe he was not lying and that he was exhibiting his own comment of love, compassion and loyalty or maybe he had been hurt before and his heart is guarded ND never realized instead of universe the heartbroken became the heartbreak.Then I try to analyze the situation like I do all situations but still till this day I cannot come up to a conclusion as to wherefore He would do that and maybe I will never know the real reason or never will I know the all told truth but for now I have to face the reality of it and in hopes to move on and be able to love again so meday. The reality of it all is that not everybody means what they say, everyone has their own definition of love and that forever does not exist in this love story.